renée’s travels, part two: my birthday retreat in totnes
My first journey outside of London and into the English countryside happened because of my birthday and my hopes to go on a retreat for it. My birthday actually fell on what is called “Reading Week” for the Autumn Term which I learned is common in UK universities where in the middle of a term, students don’t have regular classes and are encouraged to use the time to catch up and review their course materials. I would say this is what I would know in the US to be a “Spring Break” or “Winter Break” because there really isn’t that here. To be honest, I didn’t really have much, if at all, holidays or days off in the terms. However, I can’t say whether it’s a part of student culture to use Reading Week really as a reading week or if students see it as a general break too. I wanted to also try do some reading, but since it was happening over my birthday, I thought it would be a great opportunity to go somewhere different!
A month or so before my birthday, I went searching for retreats in England that were happening around my birthday (11/11) and believe it or not, I found the perfect one! The Sharpham Trust was holding a 4-night retreat about self-compassion that was starting on.. 11/11! However, it was already sold out so I had to go on a waitlist. Every now and again, I would get an email about a spot opening up but it was first come, first serve so unfortunately I missed it a few times and was unsure as to whether I’d actually be able to go. However, I kept my email alerts on and lo and behold, I was able to claim a spot! Also, they offered a bursary/scholarship to cover half the costs and I was able to get that too! Everything was falling into place. The retreat center is located right outside of Totnes, UK which is about a 3-hour train ride from London and it’s also a really small town so not the kind of place you can easily catch an Uber. So I had to arrange with a local taxi service to get to the actual retreat center. Originally, I was going to leave the retreat really early in the morning (like 6am - yikes) so I could get a train that would get me back to London for classes on Monday, but ultimately, it wasn’t feasible for me to get to the station that early so I didn’t go to classes that day (caught up later!), but it was worth staying around. One of the other retreat participants drove me back into town but because I shared I was training to be a death doula, she took me to some really cool and sacred historical burial spots, one being a natural burial site which I hadn’t seen before. The extra time also gave me time to explore the retreat grounds and the town of Totnes where I got to meet the local librarian there too. Everything happens for a reason, right?
Anyway, the retreat itself was generally really great. As anticipated for most places I go to, I was one of two Black people at the retreat and the only one in my sub-group and naturally (but unfortunately) that can come with some inherent discomfort. But I was really grateful to have a group that built a trusting and caring space that I was able to honest about that discomfort and feel like people listened. We meditated several times per day - more than I ever have in my life I think - and it was a really grounding experience. We discussed various topics and practiced several tools to bring more self-compassion in our lives. We had a good amount of solo and quiet time to be with ourselves and the earth. I met really amazing folks who I hope to visit again in their parts of England when I can and it was encouraging to see other women who have lived completely different lives come together in hopes of being more self-compassionate.
Also, Sharpham has a Vineyard and Dairy farm on the grounds and they do wine tasting tours so you know I certainly treated myself to that as well before the retreat began! Lastly, shoutout to the Totnes Public Library. I stopped in before my train back and got to explore this really nice local library for the town. I also got to have a lovely chat with the librarian there and learn more about their community and work.
Here are some photos from my time on the retreat and in Totnes:
